


Couple Cosplay

by johnson_justice (sweet_witch_hella_knight)



Category: That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: Costume Kink, Explosions, F/M, Halloween Costumes, Mild Gunplay, Porn With Plot, Sexual Roleplay, Wall Sex, frustrating critic, mild exhibitionism, snl references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-12-05 19:34:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11584734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweet_witch_hella_knight/pseuds/johnson_justice
Summary: Hyper dresses as Critic, Devil Boner dresses as Hyper, and they both get into character in a pretty weird way.





	Couple Cosplay

**Author's Note:**

> nsfw thing based on a canon thing from hyper's q&a vlog. i don't like hyper/critic in the slightest and that ship actually nauseates me, but the idea of them using the costumes for kinky shit was amusing. takes place on halloween 2016 (about a week after the freddy vs jason review, which gets referenced a few times).
> 
> EDIT: god why do i always end up messing with my smutfics long after i'm done?? i just wanted to make them come together cuz idk...feels more plausible that that makes an explosion.

"Did I even invite you two?" Critic snarked at the most annoying and terrifying couple in his life, which was really saying a lot given how his entire life annoyed and terrified him. He had just wanted a cool Halloween party full of people that would boost his ego, not people he instinctively feared would torture him.

"We heard and assumed you forgot to invite us," the ever-gleeful Hyper Fangirl said, blind to Critic's irritation. "Do you like the costumes??" She posed with Devil Boner, who was dressed in Hyper's signature shirt and scarf, plus a pair of glasses. The spiky hair and typically huge machine gun didn't sell the illusion very well, though.

Hyper, on the other hand, hadn't dressed as her boyfriend, but had adapted the look of her former stalking victim. She already had the ensemble from years ago, having been the Nostalgia Critic's number one fan and naturally wanting to emulate him as much as possible. She figured it would be useful to recycle the outfit now, even though she was totally not into him anymore, and her boyfriend had the adorable idea to borrow  _her_ clothes and combine them with his brutal aesthetic into something preciously disturbing. 

Critic wasn't exactly sold on the couple's cosplay, though. "Where did you even get that outfit? It's not actually one of mine, is it? Why did you think I'd want to see you in this garb- again, did I invite you???"

"Okay, I get the issue here," Hyper said, holding her hands up. "I forgot the Nostalgiaween jacket." She pointed to Critic's seasonal pumpkin-spotted jacket. "Sorry, but I couldn't find it in the stores. The last one got snatched up by Tom Hanks."

"That's not the issue here and you know it!" Critic started to scream.

Devil Boner, always the protective boyfriend, raised his gun threateningly. "Watch your mouth, Critic. You're just pissed she looks so much better in it than you." Hyper clutched her heart at the compliment-slash-threat.

Critic shut up and devised a last-minute plan to get these freaks off his back. "Okay...well, if you guys want to really have fun..." He thought for a bit and gestured towards the studio. "There's a lot of extra candy and merchandise in the studio, if you want to go in there and get it instead of being so close to me."

Thankfully, the couple fell for it, clasping hands. "Thank you so much, Critic!" Hyper beamed, running off towards the studio, leading her boyfriend behind.

 

They rushed towards the studio, pausing to greet a few "friends" (from Hyper's perspective, at least). Hyper was super into Tamara's hipster Wonder Woman outfit (Tamara wasn't much less disturbed by Hyper and Devil Boner than Critic) and Devil Boner was impressed with Chester's fake injury through his chest.

"Oh, it isn't fake, it's from when you shot me last week," Chester said matter-of-factly.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that," Devil Boner said, not exactly apologetically.

"It's okay, I've been killed before. It could hurt much more."

Devil Boner awkwardly walked off.

 

Once they were in the studio, they nosed around for the candy and other cool stuff. Hyper knew the studio like the back of her hand, and knew where they would be hiding the goods. She did find what seemed to be Critic's leftover candy stash, and soon enough her and her boyfriend were tearing into it. 

They were starting to feel full enough, so Devil Boner decided they ought to get back to the party and unleash their ultimate sugar-fueled selves onto the other partygoers. When he tried to open the studio door, though, it was locked shut. It seemed Critic had tricked them out of the party.

"Oh, goddammit!" Devil Boner shouted, slamming harder on the door. "The door is locked!"

"Maybe it was an accident?" Hyper said, still working her way through a tiny bag of pretzels. "Maybe someone is leaning against the door."

"Should I blow it open?" Devil Boner prepared his gun again, angry but happy to find the excuse to blow shit up. 

Hyper patted her boyfriend's shoulder. "I don't think you need to do that right now, cherry pie." She gestured towards the racks upon racks of props behind them. "We're all alone in the Channel Awesome studio. It's like we're getting special treatment!" She darted over to the costume rack and gawked at all the cool wigs and costumes. "This is so cool!" She elbowed her boyfriend. "Maybe we could 'borrow' some of these for next Halloween." 

She then noticed the checkered stage with the red curtains. "Ooh, I'm sure you remember  _that_ part of the studio," she teased. She and Devil Boner had rounded third base the other week right in front of Critic. He had expected them to fight, which they knew was ridiculous because they were in perfect love they would never ever fight in their life over anything. He had acted aloof, but Hyper knew he was probably super jealous that she got to fool around with her own love now. 

Nodding, Devil Boner affirmed, "Totally. I think we kinda freaked him out." He grinned. "Which is always  _awesome._ "

Hyper noticed the binder Critic had left last week, which had listed the pairings that were supposed to fight, left on his chair. She snatched it up, sat in the chair, and began to mimic Critic's movements and tone of voice. "Oh, Hyper Fangirl, I know that you're amazingly irresistible, but your saucy endeavors with your sweetiepoo are distracting me from my work."

"If Critic or anybody else but you called me sweetiepoo, they'd have a bullet in the brain in five seconds," Devil Boner responded.

She swatted him playfully. "I know, but we're just playing. Now you can try being me."

Devil Boner cleared his throat and adopted a higher, almost falsetto tone of voice. "Well, you know, Critic-"

"Okay, you can talk normal, it's fine," Hyper interrupted. "Cause that's gonna be distracting."

"It's not gonna sound like you if I talk normal, though."

"I don't sound like  _that_ either. It's fine, you know how much I love your cute husky voice."

Devil Boner backtracked. "Well, you know, Critic, my boyfriend is the hottest and most manly being in the world, and I'm the only one who could ever truly pleasure him." 

Hyper giggled and blushed at the indirect compliment, then snapped back into character. "Oh, so what do you think you're gonna do about it then?" 

"Don't test me, Critic. You  _know_ I'm no innocent," Devil Boner said, quickly turning the safety on his gun before raising it gently towards her face. "My incredibly sexy boyfriend taught me how to shoot, too."

Hyper threw the binder aside and ran her hand along the barrel. "Shit, this is a way better and bigger gun than mine." She slowly rolled her tongue along the barrel, pandering to his kink. It was a lot more fun dealing with the riskier things when she wasn't playing herself.

Sure enough, the bit of gunplay was getting Devil Boner excited. "Looks like you're really impressed with me after all these years!"

"I've  _always_ been impressed with you, Hyper Fangirl!" Hyper-as-Critic declared, playing out her illogical fantasy. "You're the most dedicated and attractive fan that I ever had!"

"Even after all the stalking, kidnapping, and generally scaring you every chance I get?"

"Forget all that now! I may still be hiding from you and screaming at you every time I see you, and have reported you several times to the authorities, but I can promise that doesn't mean I don't still love you!" 

Devil Boner-as-Hyper leaned over Hyper-as-Critic's chair and cupped her chin. "Alright, Critic, you want to finally be mine?"

"Is your boyfriend okay with it?" Hyper asked, making sure this twisted scenario wouldn't make him actually jealous. 

"For one night only. Plus I'm going back home to him tonight for even  _more_ fun," he promised.

"Then yes, Hyper!" She leaned back in her chair and popped open her suit jacket. "Take me now!"

She let him collide into her, knocking her backwards in the chair, not that she cared at all.

 

 

Usually Hyper was the one on top- she was smaller and liked being in control, and Devil Boner always loved letting her go crazy with him. So long as they were playing her and Critic, though, she figured she would let him be on top, since it was technically "her" on top. Besides, _her_ playing Critic kept her possessive crush in check a little better, and it was all more like a game than anything meaningful. Having hypothetical control over what Critic said and did was a pretty fun game.

Either way, Devil Boner seemed pretty happy to have an excuse to top for a change. He was holding her tight (and she was holding back almost tighter) and they were kissing fiercely like usual. He started feeling around under her underpants, making her squeak.

"Oh my god, this is something outta my fanfiction," he said in character as Hyper, rolling his finger along her clit. "My _perfectly written, hot as hell, badass fanfiction,_ " he whispered into her ear. She started panting and giggling as he kissed her neck.

She unfastened her belt and pants, giving him permission to bunch her pants and underwear along her ankles and play with her pussy, rubbing along the edge.

"Ohh _hhhh_ , Hyper," Hyper-as-Critic said as, "you're  _amazing_. You must be a sexual _genius._ " 

Devil Boner-as-Hyper snuck his hand between her thigh and pussy, tickling her into giggling. With the other hand, he tugged her tie. "What do you say I prove how amazing I can be and screw you over like..." He thought for a second how to prove he knew Hyper's taste. "Like the Rhino got screwed in the new  _Spider-Man_ movies?"

Something about Devil Boner playing to her special interest was super hot, but she had to hang on and stay in character. "Well, even though I think, um, the new films are  _b-better..._ " She snickered again, this time over her obvious lie, and continued, "yes, I would  _definitely_ want you to screw me."

Devil Boner nodded his head back towards the door to the studio. "How about we fuck against there, and let everyone else hear us together?"

Even if she weren't playing this game, Hyper would love other people to know that she was getting some sweet love. She tugged his scarf and demanded, " _Yes, now, please!"  
_

Would Critic be that needy? Who knew? It didn't hurt to let her actual demanding personality out a bit.

 

Hyper and Devil Boner rushed to the door. Hyper leaned against it, with Devil Boner yanking his pants down and preparing his dick. He grabbed Hyper underneath her thighs, picked her up, and pushed her against the door. He then, quick but not too much for her, started thrusting.

" _Ohh, yes_ , baby cakes- I mean, uh, Hyper," Hyper moaned, not really certain if Critic would use that kind of pet name on her.

"Oh yes, yes, You're so gorgeous, jackknife- I mean, uh, Nostalgia Critic." Devil Boner was slipping up a bit, too. At least he could hold her up throughout all this.

"Y'know, babe," Hyper said, interrupting the sex for a brief moment, "I think we can mix some of our own quirks into this little fantasy, right?"

Devil Boner swallowed and nodded. "Let's be real, we're taking enough liberties as is."

Deep down, Hyper kind of knew the whole "Critic desperately wanting her back" thing was a self indulgent fantasy, but she had been ignoring that for years now. Mixing what she had wanted with Critic with what she had in reality with Devil Boner was probably the best compromise she could get. "Okay, honeypot, we can go back to it now. Maybe a little bit faster."

"Whatever you want, landmine."  He started going faster, both grunting and crying out in joy. She could almost feel the heat from friction as the intercourse intensified.

"Ah, ah, yes! Oh, you're so good!" Hyper was getting tenser herself. She loved the idea of her boyfriend playing her, because in a roundabout way it meant every gush over him was a gush over herself. Talk about learning to love yourself!

Soon enough, Devil Boner shouted, "Gah, I'm gonna come!"  
  
Aroused even further by the intimacy (and she was on the pill, so that worry was out of her head), Hyper clung harder to his back and let him come inside her, hot and heavy, and she came herself within seconds.

The combined orgasm was somehow so intense it blew the fucking door apart in a fiery explosion, leaving a gaping hole. 

 

The pairing dropped to the floor, Devil Boner falling on top of Hyper, both breathing heavily from the experience. Obviously, everyone in the party was staring aghast at the gaping hole they'd left in the studio. A few were more intrigued by the half-naked couple lying on the floor in the rubble.

Critic came over to the mess, looking more bewildered than anything. Hyper tried to smile like she had done nothing wrong, but Critic didn't care to scream at her anymore tonight. "Honestly, I'm not even surprised anymore," he snarked. "Disgusted, yes, I'm always going to be. But nothing about this scenario is surprising." He took a swig of Jagermeister. 

They weren't really ashamed, of course. If anything, everybody watching made Hyper wanna show off her healthy happy sex life even more, especially with her sorta-ex and cosplay muse in the room. She tugged Devil Boner's scarf, coaxing, "Just a little bit more?"

Devil Boner glanced up at the spectators, then back at his needy girlfriend. Even with the literally-explosive orgasm, he could still stay hard for a while longer. He was goddamn Devil Boner, costume or not. "If it makes you happy."

Many of the spectators left once he began thrusting into her again, save a few voyeuristic freaks. With the added thrill of exhibitionism, Hyper felt that pleasant jolt for a second time and happily cried out. Critic had walked away before the couple had started back up, but he could still hear her. It was pretty hard to ignore.

"Well, at least one 'Critic' was happy tonight," Malcolm commented. The actual Critic continued to drink.

 

Their clothes were wrinkled and they were exhausted, but Devil Boner and Hyper left the party very happy that evening.

"You have fun?" Devil Boner asked her. Hyper nodded aggressively, and he continued. "Sorry about the whole explosion thing getting us kicked out. I'm working on controlling that."

Hyper squeezed his hand. "I was just happy to make you happy, pumpkin spice. You know I love your  _firepower_ ," she flirted. He usually didn't come so early, especially not so close to her own. but maybe putting him in her position helped. "But I think, as great as it was to play Critic and everything, and how overwhelming that whole..." She gestured to her groin and made an exploding gesture and sound. "...thing was, I like how we usually are. Sweet talking with me on top of you."

"Yeah, and to be honest, I could never do to you what you dream of doing to Critic," Devil Boner admitted.

Hyper shrugged, ashamed of her twisted fantasies, but not enough. She changed the subject. "Hey, the night's young! How about we hit up a few houses for some last minute trick or treating?"

"You really think they'd take us seriously? We don't have a kid to tote around."

"We did some pretty adult things tonight, baby. I think some childish things are in order."

"If you say so. Plus, if all else fails, I got a trick for them right here." He tapped his gun.

Hyper wagged her finger at him. "You only have permission to threaten a house if the people are being rude and there's no kids or animals, okay?"

He took off her black cap and kissed the top of her head. "You're the boss."


End file.
